Once at sea, new people have to "fit in" eventually, since there's nowhere else to go. People have to trust others to do life or death jobs, where one mistake could kill us all. Some Officers say I "waste my time" with "worthless people". I refuse to abandon "worthless people", so I guess I "waste" lots of time. I discovered these "worthless people" are hungry to learn about character and responsibility, it's just hard for them to understand at first. Their childhood was ruled by punishment. As long as you are pushed and pulled through life by reward and punishment, you are not learning the dignity, nobility, and self-discipline that defines true courage. You understand free will as something that allows others, and also yourself to do horrible things. While in horrible battle conditions, War correspondent Theodore White wrote "I was convinced for all time of the dignity and nobility of common men. I was convinced for all time that common men have a pure and common courage when they fight for what they believe to be a just cause. That, which was fine in these men, outweighed and made trivial all that was horrible in their plight. I cannot explain it, except to say that they were at all times cheerful, and helped one another. They never gave up the fight, they never admitted defeat, they never ask for help." These former "worthless people" are suddenly ambitious, courageous, and happy. They say it's the difference between Heaven and Hell. They wake up each morning ready and eager to cheerfully face whatever adventures the new day brings forth. They say before, they would hate to get up in the morning, and their primary goal in life was to not get into trouble.

These "changed" people are incredibly loyal, and resilient. When I was badly injured, many young guys continued CPR for hours after I was declared "dead". We had 10 vials of scarce medication, divided by lottery, for over 100 people in need. All 10 recipients wanted their medication given to me. They then talked the corpsman into trying a massive blood transfusion. He didn't know my blood type, but since I was already "dead", they wanted to try it anyway. It made several guys white as a sheet, and flat on their backs for days. I guess it worked, since I'm no longer "dead". Later, I asked these young guys, kids really, why they did it. They said I was the only person who ever explained things so they could understand. Of course, they teach me a great deal too, more than words can explain. Since the first good man gave his life to save mine, I am immune from hate. He said "I can't let you do it (the job) because you're the only guy onboard with good ideas. We still need you, if this one doesn't work." He arranged for two more guys to drag me away. Afterward, he was offered strong medications for pain, for sleep, even for death. He refused them all so he could tell me he was still really happy he did it, before he died. He was badly contaminated with radiation, and did not want others to be exposed, so he went to the garbage room and grabbed five donuts. These are not the sugar-coated kind, they are lead rings used to ensure our garbage cans sink to the bottom. He wrapped himself up like Houdini with these donuts, the torpedo hoist chain, and several padlocks, then climbed into the torpedo tube for disposal. The torpedomen said he was at all times cheerful, and always concerned that they would be OK.

Here's the difficult part of my lessons. I require everyone to act as if they care about each other. If you see a shipmate having trouble, you don't make fun of them, or keep score of their faults, or tell others how stupid they are. You must offer to help, or if it's beyond your ability, you must get someone to help. New guys "fit in" within a week or two, often saying they are amazed, or it's like the difference between Heaven and Hell. Everything else is free will.

You must have hands-on training to teach these things. Talking or reading by itself doesn't do the job. It would be like trying to learn football from a textbook. You need to practice with other people. But you do not need to practice real danger or real injury. You must have a dozen or more people physically going through the motions, or their brains don't process things as being real. But you plan your training so there is no danger or likelihood of injury. My favorite method is the fire drill. Other Officers used "walk and talk" drills, or showed videos, but that doesn't work. Our drills used lots of equipment that needed cleaning and packing after the drill. But everyone loved these drills, and cheerfully pitched in with the clean-up. We practiced on the pier using real water and real hoses, but real fire was not necessary. We could even lay out a floor plan on the ground with scrap lumber, without real walls. All we need are enough challenges to produce real mistakes and real failures. I would have the affected people sit down in the middle of the drill, while we continue to work around them. After the drill I would explain with as much emotion as possible that if this had been a real fire, these are the guys who would have been killed because of our mistakes. Hours after these drills, the newer, younger guys would come to me or the older guys, crying about how sorry they were, and with all kinds of questions about courage and character, or specific procedures. The mind is a wondrous thing, and this is the golden hour. A door to courage and character has been opened that was possibly never open before, and you need to be ready with good answers.

Caring about others is inherent with and integral to courage and character. You fully appreciate courage when someone risks their life to save yours. It's unexpected, a surprise, but you immediately feel compelled to return the favor. Everyone inherently acts as if they care about each other at this point. The reason I initially  require  people to act as if they care about each other is to save latecomers from being overwhelmed with remorse. Seven UDT/Seals want me to kill one of them to atone for what they did to me. Where I say below "the hijackers turned away from Victoria Tower, and were crying" after I talked with them, it's a horrendous understatement. They became immediately suicidal, and it was all I could do to convince them God wants them alive. I believe God wants  everyone  alive. I believe "horrible people" are needed to tell others "I've been there, and I've done that" before it's too late. We have way too many teen suicides, and this learning process needs to be less painful, even if they start down the wrong path first.

Courage is a  feeling . When new guys start saying they're amazed, or it's like the difference between Heaven and Hell, it's because they are  feeling  courage and they are eagerly willing to do more. It becomes self-sustaining at this point. Everything else is free will.

Punishment does not teach courage or character, it tends to close doors to the mind that may have been open, and it tends to make you the enemy. It teaches fear instead of courage, and sends free will careening out of control in search of irrational escape, without sensibility or restraint. It promotes evasion and dishonesty instead of thoughtful problem solving, or any thinking about the future. The most horrible aspect of punishment is that if it doesn't work, there is no way forward except to use increasingly horrible punishment, up to killing all first-born children.

Two Colonels sent me to live with 140 advanced Marines. They had served the maximum 5 tours in Vietnam. They were always angry and telling torture stories, which made me a little crazy. Weeks before, 7 UDT/Seals had been doing all those things to me, and the 87 Seals said I should kill one of them to atone for it. I told them Marines were supposed to have Courage, and they don't even know where Courage comes from. It was touchy for a while, the two youngest Marines insisted on protecting me from the older guys who wanted me killed. They were very determined, and courage is very contagious once it gets started. They became cheerful, and were hugging each other, and saying Marines are NOT tough guys, we have Courage, and Courage comes from the heart. The two Colonels said I accomplished in 6 days what a team of psychiatrists had been unable to accomplish for 6 months.

Free will  makes  heaven on earth. You fully appreciate courage when someone risks their life to save yours. You immediately feel compelled to return the favor, you suddenly care about each other and know a feeling of oneness more than words can tell, and you naturally act accordingly. The Marines were retroactively relieved of hate and anger. Greed and corruption are incompatible with courage. Dignity, nobility, and self-discipline that defines true courage joins Eastern and Western values. Theodore White was stationed with Chinese and American troops. "Eastern" paradise, where community comes first and "Western" paradise where individuals come first are suddenly united. At the last supper before He died, Jesus washed everyone's feet, and said our purpose in life is to likewise serve one another in remembrance of Him. Once you know courage, it makes perfect sense, and free will is a blessing and not a curse. My young guys are falling over each other to do the right thing, all the while saying it's the difference between Heaven and Hell.

When I was a Naval Officer in Singapore, it was a "golden hour" with local Muslims. Taxi drivers would refuse to take my money, and local Muslims would invite me to their homes for dinner and to talk about free will and why God allows people to do bad things. They would say "don't worry, every Muslim in Singapore will protect you", I would say I'm a Christian, and they would say "that's OK, we love Christians too". I like to think my teaching could have changed the world. It certainly affected the few Muslims the Navy assigned to work with me. But Christians have been trying to kill me since I was 9 years old, and they still refuse to tell me why. Maybe there is still hope.

Click  here  for more details, but keep in mind it's the last page of a long diary that likely needs to be read in its entirety.

A team of SAS commandoes saved me from several apparently Christian assassins who were sent from Washington DC to kill me, so I was all-in trying to stop the first 911-style attack, crashing a commercial flight into Victoria Tower in London. I did not know it was coming, but the head of the FBI in Cleveland forced my business partner to schedule a convoluted travel plan which put me on their plane. They had me flying from Cleveland to London, then renting a car, driving to Humberside, then flying to Amsterdam. London to Amsterdam was a quick flight, and 3 times cheaper. I booked it as soon as I arrived in London. My partner Bob Sauer had me paged in London and said he was terrified of what the FBI would do if I did not take the Humberside flight. The hijackers turned away from Victoria Tower, and were crying after I talked with them.

In the hope it might someday be useful, I wrote everything down.   See  start .